Saturday, March 22, 2014

Mom Confessions - Popcorn for Breakfast, anyone??

There are so many things I feel bad about as a parent. But I realize more and more that guilt is wasted energy. I think I need to purge my feelings of complete parent failure.

When you have 3 kids - the game changes. You are outnumbered and out witted pretty much every day of the week. When I head out to the grocery store with all 3 girls in tow - people tend to stare like the Duggars just walked in. I haven't had a good night's sleep in years, but I remember it fondly. And many mornings I walk into work with a big toothpaste stain on my shirt from having to physically hold down my 2 year old and brush her teeth.

I work full time. My day usually starts at 6. Or 6:30. All depends on how many times I hit the snooze button before finally managing to crawl out of bed. I usually have to remove a few little kid body parts first. A foot in my face. A knee in my back. Yes - most nights they sleep with me. Why? The hell if I know.

Getting 3 girls up each morning is almost as fun as putting 3 girls to bed each night. I try to pick out all their clothes the night before...most nights.

My 3 year old will only eat pancakes for breakfast. Not just any pancakes...they have to be mini-pancakes. And a syrup dot on each one. It has to be just so or she won't take one bite. My 2 year old may or may not eat depending on her mood. But then again, many Saturday mornings I toss them a bag of popcorn for breakfast and crawl back under the covers. At least they never starve.

My 7 year old has a head full of curls. More curls than you'd think possible on one person's head. A good 20 minutes (MINIMUM) of my morning is dedicated to her hair. I have over the years tried and tested out just about every product there is to find the right combination for her hair. Still she screams the whole time I brush it and accuses me of child abuse.

We need to be out the door by 7:15 so I am not late for work. I would say 3 out of 5 days we leave by 7:45.

Because God took pity on me, my daughter's school is right next to the younger girl's daycare. And some mornings drop off is fine. Other mornings my 2 year old begins to cry the moment we walk in the daycare door. Or my 3 year states that she is scared of her school. 5 minutes later she is hugging her teacher (the sweetest teacher ever) and playing and singing with her friends. And I see how scared she is.

My 7 year old has chronic one thing or another. Just as we pull up to school her stomach hurts. Or her head. Or her hip. Or her leg.

My actual job is challenging, but it's the easiest part of my day.

The drive home is nice if the weather is nice. We can put the windows down and sing at the top of our lungs. Of course we have to play "Let It Go" from Frozen at least 3 times but more and more I am starting to sound like a Broadway star.

I do a lot of crock pot dinner planning. It's super easy and convenient. I love coming home and having dinner ready to go. Of course my kids hate most things from the crock pot, so I end up making them nuggets or Ramen noodles.

My boyfriend does bath time. Thought he starts a night job next week - so that may fall back on my plate. And he does help in the mornings. But our schedules conflict and some days I feel like I am alone a lot on this crazy ride.

Bedtime starts with Dream Lites and soft music. I tell stories. We cuddle. An hour later I am screaming at them. Then begging them. Half the time relenting and putting the TV on. Sometimes I fall asleep from pure exhaustion and hope they follow suit.

So there are popcorn breakfast mornings. There have been times that I scrubbed one kid's teeth with the other kid's toothbrush. Evenings when bath time turned into wipe down time. Toss a little baby lotion on them...good to go.

Do the kids always eat at the table? I think more often I am just happy when they eat.

I suck at things like potty training. I let them hold on to their babas much longer than they should have - though they are all baba free now.

I am not sure I have ever cut any of their nails. I should possibly check that out...

We do not bike to school and work. I don't have a big bike with the 3 little bikes attached in the back. And confession time - I don't think I ever will.

The kids sleep with me most nights because it's easier. And because not much else goes on in my bed anyway. With 3 kids, if my boyfriend and I wanted to have sex it would have to be in a closet or maybe we could crawl into one of the vents and give it a go. That is if we can even remember how.

And yes, he is my boyfriend. After kids and living together all these years, I think I'd rather spend money on therapy then on a wedding. 

I thank God for Nick Jr. It had the patience to teach the kids on days when I certainly didn't.

I have dreams of putting them all in dance classes, horse back riding classes, karate and gymnastics. I want them to learn to play the piano and learn another language. But mostly they are lucky if we get out to the park for a few hours. Oh and I hate swings. I mean hate them! You teach your kids to pump their legs. You give them starter pushes. It's never enough. Some days I feel like if I hear the words "Can you push me?" one more time I may just dive into the little creek right there by the park. Of course it's only 2 inches of water. It doesn’t really move much. But maybe on a windy down if could take me away.

At the end of the day you love your kids. I love mine so much it honestly hurts. I tear up thinking about it. But it's not easy. You make mistakes. You take shortcuts. Some days you are just trying to get through. But deep down I know that it all goes by too too fast. And I need to take more time to really enjoy it. What would I do if I didn't have them? I'd sleep a lot more...I mean A LOT more! But life wouldn't be as much fun. I think I need to give myself a break - not be so hard on myself and my choices. All we can do is our best. And all they can do is be kids...and there's nothing wrong with that.


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